Filling in the Blank?
I believe there are some errors in this page:
- I thought that, in the text, that Ventris was mistakenly thought to be blood-related to Lucian Ventris--one of the factors that let him into Agiselus.
((this is true, he goes to the wall of heroes (or whatever they call it) and finds the name, i do believe hs calls it a relative, also... umm the one that took controll of the 4th while uriel was on his death oath used his realtion to lucian as insult during training, i will double check later--Kip 14:26, 12 August 2009 (UTC)))
- (History as Captain) On Pavonis: I think it would be important to note that this was the beginning of Ventris' serious stray from the Codex Astartes. Exterminatus was totally called for in this situation but Ventris stalled the the procedure. In doing so he let the Nightbringer out (though this is not specifically in the text)
- (History as Captain) On his "unorthodox methods": I thought the major reason for his exile was he masqueraded as a Deathwatch
- (History as Captain) On his exile: "were unorthodox in the extreme. As punishment for that, and his growing tendency to stray from the Codex Astartes..."
- (In Exile) The second Paragraph: Warsmith Honsou and the Renegades commanded by Uriel should be introduced in the first paragraph--this one seems to carry on as if the reader would know about them beforehand. Also, the three remaining renegades from the attack on Honsou are offered a position to hunt down Uriel and train his clone.
- (In Exile) The references to Honsou and the remaining renegades seem out of place. should they be on their own page?
- (In Exile) Again, the unfleshed are first introduced in the 3rd paragraph. They were originally on Medrengard, and the text should point out their importance in helping uriel/Pasonius in their death oath. Changed. Pikez33 05:22, 21 December 2008 (CET)
I would just change these, but I think some of these changes are opinionated, and I was hoping for someone else to agree with me on these points before I started editting. Pikez33 20:13, 10 December 2008 (CET)
To be honest, this article is pretty lacking when you consider all the sources we have for the character: It's basically a series of short novel synopsis with a little bit of interesting stuff thrown in at the top. Needs more detail, some stuff about his personality and also his description. Also, the picture needs changed to an actual official representation of Ventris - I'd say one of the cover images of him as they are rather good and pretty accurate to his description, but I'm not sure if one exists of him with a line of text that says his name underneath it anywhere...maybe in that Clint Langley art book. Oh, and it needs properly cited too.
(Edit by ShoppingTub - I have updated the picture as requested to the cover art from Chapter's Due as this is the most up to date image of Uriel by Games Workshop - Edit 18 August 2010)
- Dunno, need to check - I thought he was related tho
- Sure, if that's an accurate reading of the text, why not.
- There's a short story that features his trial. Worth a look to get the exact reason.
- Yeah, redundant
- Needs checked - the information is best presented in chronological order, so it needs expanded rather than just rejigged so that the Honsou stuff makes sense.
- Honsou's article should be looked at to see if it needs expanded and any information ported over. A little about his actions in relation to Ventris here would be fine, but not too much and it needs to be relevant to the impact it had on Ventri's life story.
- Sure--Mob 23:42, 12 December 2008 (CET)
Small question, in this part of the text:
Honsou then travelled to the three renegade Marines and offered them each a place in his Grand Company, a place that each of them accepted. Honsou was accompanied by a newborn Iron Warrior whose features are identical to Uriel's.
I don't have the book, but if anyone does, could a little info be provided about the three renegade Marines? Seems very out of place at the moment.
I have looked for that particular passage but have yet not been able to find it, but i have found something similar on page 655 of the third book in the series Dead Sky, Black Sun Honsou does offer them a place in his service but he says.
'then i could use warriors like you,' Said Honsou ,extending his hand. 'I can off you so much more than Toramino or Berossus. Will you join me?"
their may be another passage in the book further on which may be the one your talking about, but this is the passage ive found so far which resembles yours most. oh and please signiture what you say please Endeavour 17:00, 28 August 2008 (CEST)
- That's probably the bit referenced. However, I would agree that the whole paragraph seems out of place; it diverts from Ventris too much. A mention of his 'evil clone' should probably be made, but I'm not certain about the way it has been done here. On the other hand, if the whole article was expanded, which it could stand, the paragraph may not seem so out of place.--Mob 18:04, 28 August 2008 (CEST)
Is there any more mention of Uriel's clone in The Killing ground? i havent read it yet?... Endeavour 21:56, 28 August 2008 (CEST)
- Well, if you want to know...there's no mention of him in The Killing Ground.--Mob 19:48, 31 August 2008 (CEST)
Having read and possessing the books with me at the moment, Warriors of Ultramar (Novel) and Dead Sky, Black Sun (Novel) I have started to update the page with the events of Tarsis Ultra and Medrengard. However, because I do not have on me the Nightbringer (Novel) and still have yet to read The Killing Ground (Novel), I can not update the events of Pavonis I and II.--Vindicta 22:27, 5 January 2009 (CET)
- Tarsis Ultra v1.0 has been complete! Phew! That took a while. I missed out chunks of the actual battles on the planet, which involved Uriel Ventris in his usual unorthodoxy ways riding a Rhino by being on top of the blooming vehicle instead of inside it!, killing a Hive Tyrant (whether it was a HT wasn't explicably stated.. but it was some Hive mind monster controlling the 'nids), blowing up a third Hive Ship by tagging alongside the Deathwatch team and coordinating with the remainder of the Imperial Navy Fleet in Space, and almost causing a diplomatic crisis by thumping the Mortifactor's leader. Pretty much, his exploits from Warriors of Ultramar (Novel) has now been summed up. (smiles). --Vindicta 03:28, 6 January 2009 (CET)
- Medrengaard v1.0 finished! And that's going to be all from me, as I haven't read The Killing Ground (Novel), so I don't know what happens to Uriel Ventris beyond Medrengaard! I hope you enjoy reading the article, forgive me if there had been sloppy writing, I'm no writer. (smiles). Again, there are chunks missed out concerning the aftermath of the renegades and Houson surviving, but I didn't feel they were relevant to Ventris at that point as he had no involvement or interaction then.--Vindicta 11:20, 6 January 2009 (CET)