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The first sentence does not make sense. Either it's Singular or Plural. --Inquisitor S., Großmeister des Ordo Lexicanum 10:50, 11 January 2012 (CET)

What about now?--Ashendant 12:12, 11 January 2012 (CET)
Still doesn't make sense. The part behind the comma is unconnected to the part before and does not make sense. --Inquisitor S., Großmeister des Ordo Lexicanum 13:01, 11 January 2012 (CET)